my lemonade

Finally, I finished up almost all of my christmas shopping. All I have left to get are stocking stuffers and little other trinkets.

 

pictured: sheer joy

However, this did leave my wallet a bit sad-looking.

 

Pictured: wallet, 5 dollar bill laughing at me, driver's license, edge card, note to myself.

While shopping, I forgot that doing so would leave me broke. And poor. But those are the same thing, only one of them feels permanent, and the other feels temporary. The temporary-feeling one is broke, by the way.

So until I get paid again (in two weeks), I have five dollars to live off of. Thank God I don't drive to work anymore. But that still leaves me with the "I kinda need food to eat" issue. So, running back into Wal-mart (*sigh* I feel redneck just saying that out loud), I quickly picked up edible stuff.

 

Dear maruchan: Thank you for your contributions to us poor people.

Well, that's food. But there is one other thing. I have a tendancy to get thirsty at work.

 

I am the multi-tasking/talking MASTER.

 

Seriously, I don't know why I need so much fluids.

So I really needed a solution for that one. I wandered aimlessly around the wal-mart drinks area, half-heartedly looking for a cheap solution, mostly wondering how much a bottle would be to lug around work. And to work. And if it would keep me sated all day. Then what to my wandering eyes would behold, a large drink carton, that would not get old.

I liked that it was cheap, and to boot, it was a drink!

I wondered why it took so little, and for a split second, I was caught in the middle.

But I soon realized I was standing in a store, looking like I had just found my big score.

I made sure my money was there-my wallet made it look like it was tucked in with care.

I sped to the check-out (though clearly not through. Wal-mart's lines were all long, what else is new?)

I started to shout.

The checker looked at me in a haze, thinking "Tonight, I will not be fazed."

So good night, poor paupers and poor whores

And sleep well, for know that there's food for us poor.

 

This was like Christmas. Only with less lights and more yelling.

Did you like my poem? I thought of it all myself. What's that? Don't go into writing? It's okay. Don't worry. I'll ignore you.

So, planning it so I would eat only one pack of ramen a day, I figured that by the time I get paid again, it will be just in time for me to eat what I call "real people food."

And on top of that, lemonade satates my thirst much better than soda, so I might have to buy one more lemonade drink, but really, I'm all set. I didn't need to do dishes because I eat the ramen without hot water, and drink straight from the bottle.

.... But apparently people at work like lemonade.

 

This is one of the managers, eyeballing my sweet sweet lemonade.

That quickly escalated into this:

 

Fuck off, sir paid-a-lot.

I became rabid. I clung to my lemonade like Gollum to his "precious", and drank openly right from the bottle, occasionally making the sick kind of coughing sounds. TAKE THAT, HYGENE-CONSCIOUS COWORKERS AND SUPERVISORS.

 

You do not mess with a face like this.

But still, I was followed and pestered by one coworker. So I finally broke down and let him have a small cup. Now he's missed a few days of work. He could be in the hospital, he could just be sick, or in vegas. I don't know. But now I draw protectors and stick them to my lemonade.

 

This was a smaller bottle, but they were out of the big ones.

And also, yes. This post was just an excuse to show off that I have a camera now. It's all a true story, and so far, my ramen regiment has been strict and successful. And when I die of malnutrition, or diabetes, I'll say "it was worth it! I saved so much money!"